it's weird, how reading your blog actually made me feel so 'real' again.. can't really put it down in words though.. studying in a land so far away, cycling 120km in half a day, experiencing the snowing here.. all these feel so mediocre and minute as compared to hearing from you again..

I want to leave all these things behind me.. but maybe out of my youthful passions, I've given much more than I could have.. will our paths ever cross each other again? what will happen then?

there's no way I'm going back there again, but a part of me is still lingering... it's not up to me, it really isn't.. but nothing could make me feel so 'real' and 'alive'..

Selfish but true,
now I just need someone to pull me through.
More often than not,
is this memory too hard to be forgot.
Good, were the times gone by,
but at least we still did give it a try.
Once and for all,
just let it go, and let it fall...

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." 

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. 
  But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 

 The man said, 
  "This is now bone of my bones 
  and flesh of my flesh; 
  she shall be called 'woman,' 

  for she was taken out of man."

Genesis 2:18-23

I was in church one Sunday...
the service started out as usual with singspirations...
and the church choir presented a song unto the Lord thereafter...

It was the Sunday after the 'Marriage Conference' that the church held...
the pastor walked to the front, and invited all the married couples upfront...
each of the man is to present a rose to his partner...

It was such a beautiful scene...
tears started rolling down my cheeks...

tears of Joy for the couples? tears of envy? tears of sadness?

I don't know...

All I know is, marriage is not just a matter of the heart...

Time and time again, I thought that Love could surpass everything... 
I tried to live by that...
only to find out what a fool I am, with this wishful thinking...
for I'm the only one who believes in that...

Say no more... Feel no more... Do no more... Think no more...

this Valentines day will just be another Feburary the 14th...
a day on the calander...
a day when Lovers reconcile...
a day when Couples rekindle their love...
a day when the Singles remind themselves of their lonliness...

how easy it is to fall in love and yet not be in love...
but how then can I rid myself of this thorn?
for if hate can only be driven out by Love,
then, will hate, be the only remedy for the Lovelorn?

Alles Gut, Endes Gut

It's the start of 2009, and needless to say, an end to 2008...

2008, a year that so many things happened for so many of us... guess 2008's also a turning point in my life...

well, 2008 kinda started with a burst of emotions, with so many things bringing us together.. when I broke the silence, it was when the waves of highs and lows started to pour in...

so many times I've hoped for an answer... so long I've waited... even till the day I left for this foreign land...

I've given my all, I've done what I could... maybe it's just not meant to be, maybe not yet... I know, you've done what you could too... but at least for now, I know that I'm not someone you need right now... 

But at the end of the day, I really thank God that we came out of this with a better friendship than that which we had before... that finally, the pressure is lifted off... that finally, there's no more expectations... 

"You don't own her, you can only Love her"
if only I had the heart and determination of the friend who told me this... but there's just so many externalities...

at the end of the day, can you feed yourself with Love? I don't even know what I'm gonna do for a living for crying out loud... what else can I give? make a starving wife out of the poverty I'm in?

sad but true, that's the reality of life... I've tried the irrational side of Love, and guess what? wake up and smell the coffee! Leave the "Happily ever afters" to the fairytales....

okay.. sounds like I'm pissed off right? well, not really.. it's kinda the things that we have to learn sometime in our lives... but as we've said before, "Glad it was with you that I went through this with =)

it's 2009 and I'm leaving the rest of this Fairytale to God to write (and yes, I still do believe in a Fairytale ending =))... whether or not Cinderella will turn up, it's still too early to tell... as for now, we've gotta first get Prince Charming his White horse to get him on the way =)

still struggling with Uni applications, at least with a bit of progress..

Attended a new church, which so happens to be nearby my place too.. it's an international church but most of the people there are Africans.. we all know their passion for music and it's just great to be part of their praise and worship..

School's starting again tomorrow... don't know what to expect... 

2009's sure gonna be another whole different year... let's wait and see...